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9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooter's Yellow Gun for Banana Frustrated Consumer Has Seen All The Porns
Silver Report: Mentally Disabled Floridian to Determine Election
White Leaders Reveal Time, Place Appropriate for Black Protest
Melania Trump Publishes Masterful "Peace and War"
Trump's Feud with Girl Scout Enters Second Week
Can Super 8 be Converted to DVD
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Black Baseball Player Killed by White Umpire
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Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
9 were killed and 17 more wounded on the streets of Centerville, Illinois this morning after police mistook a white man's yellow handgun for a banana. The man, now identified as Jonathon Dyson of nearby Greenwood, started his rampage at 8:25 a.m. when he wounded Police Officer Rusty Brown outside a Starbucks on Highland Avenue, then continued to shoot for another 15 minutes, more than 10 minutes after backup officers arrived on the scene. "I could have swore... (More)
Kitty Pounces Ahead of Clinton, Trump for Pwesident!
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)
Recent News
Have I Mentioned Yet that My Parents Are Illiterate Shit for Brains? - By: Ted Cruz - You might assume from my presidential candidacy and position in the US Senate that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not so. I come from very humble beginnings. In fact... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police

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