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| Lame Time Traveler Arrives to Warn Nation Against Electing Trump POTUS |
• Plucky Band of Racist Children Start Building Border Wall |
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| • Trump Takes Children Hostage in Bid to End Mueller Probe |
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| • Pope Vows to Keep Child Molestation to Minimum |
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| • Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com |
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| • Navy Launches First Gay Submarine |
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| • Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel |
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Disheveled and rambling, a lame time traveler arrived nearly two years late today to warn the nation about the consequences of electing Donald Trump President. "Don't do it. The guy's a crook! He'll throw the entire country into turmoil!" the man, appearing out of thin air outside Disney World this morning waved a copy of tomorrow's New York Times as proof of his dire claims. "Donald Trump is an incompetent buffoon!" he cried. "And a racist! You have to believe me!" Flipping frantically through the newspaper's... (More)
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• 9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana |
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• Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins |
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Opinion |
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 Ooh! Look at My Son, the Big Shot President! - By: Fred Trump - Oh, hey everybody! If it isn't my son Donald, the big shot President! Just look at him, sitting at his big, important desk in his big, snazzy Oval Office in his big, fancy White House. Whoop-dee doo! President Trump! Who would've guessed... (More) |
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 Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More) |
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 Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil |
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 Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police |
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 Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)
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