We Can Always Vote this Hitler Fellow Out in Another Four Years
By: Hanz Voller

With the 1932 election fast approaching, the German people will soon have the opportunity to decide whether to re-elect "Puffy" Paul von Hindenburg or opt for real change by casting their ballot for the bold young firebrand Adolf Hitler.

Now, some of my fellow countrymen have suggested that Hitler is too extreme. That he might even try to subvert the constitution and install himself as dictator. But I say schwachsinn! This is all propaganda. Why not give Adolf a chance, and if he's ein schwein, we can always give him das boot in four years!

Honestly, what's the worst that can happen? We could continue to languish under der steifel of the Weimar Republic with its history of triple-digit inflation rates, or we could soar high under Hitler! I mean, sure, risking democracy over a single or even double-digit inflation rate would be verruckt, but triple digit rates on the other hand…

And then of course there's the whole Jew thing. Personally, I have no problem with die Juden. Sure, they can be a little annoying at times, but to say that they're poisoning the blood of our country? That might be a bit much. In fact, I can see how the Jews contribute to society – probably even more so than they take away. Still, again I say we give Adolf a chance, and if he's too hard on our Hebrew friends, we'll vote him out and everything will go back to how it was before. Nein harm, nein foul!

In conclusion, all things considered, it is my belief that the threat Adolf Hitler may or may not pose to democracy pales in comparison to the damage another four years under putrid, pot-belly, pissy-pants Paul von Hindenburg would do to das Fatherland. Vote Hitler!