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| Latest News |
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Recent News |
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| Fed Spokesman Reports Economy Going All to Shit |
 Study: 99.9% of Americans Suffering from Obscurity - A new study indicates that, despite their very best efforts, most Americans are not at all famous. A collaborative effort between over one hundred researchers in twenty laboratories on fifteen campuses across the... (More) |
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 New Birth Control Pill Turns Women into Christian Fundamentalists - A new form of contraception that turns its user into a fundamentalist Christian will soon be available to American women after receiving final approval from the FDA... (More) |
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| More National News |
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| • Pharmaceutical Company Invents New Mental Disorder |
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| • Immigrant Children Taking US Kids' Jobs |
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Appearing before the House of Representatives this morning, economist and Federal Reserve Board of Governors member Randall Mishkin surprised as many on Capitol Hill with his assessment of the nation's economy as he did with the stark language he employed to do so. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not going to jerk you off," Mishkin prefaced his opening remarks, "The economy is going all to shit." ... (More)
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• US Poetry Rate Soars to New High |
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• Limb Dismemberment Craze Excites Teens, Worries Parents |
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• US Soldier Kills 7 in Elaborate Bid to Fake PTSD |
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• Governor Blasts Lavish $87 Food Stamp Party |
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• Arizona Deports Thousands of Useless People |
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• Veteran Dies Protecting Buffet Ice Cream Machine from Fat Woman |
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• Nationwide Scavenger Hunt to Give Barren Couples Life Mission |
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• Shaky Global Economy Sends Kitty Prices Soaring |
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• House Passes $500 Billion Funding Bill for War on Women |
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• Inmates Wanted: New Private Prison Announces 3,000 Openings |
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•Is Mount Rushmore Being "Muslim-ified"? |
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• Poll: 4% of Americans Vampires |
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• Government Plan Offers Incentives for Abortions, Suicide |
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• American Consumers Eating More from Free Food Group |
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• FBI: White Supremacist Group Keeping Busy Playing "Race War" |
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• Pawlenty Presidential Exploratory Committee Vanishes in Arctic |
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• Republican Senator James Inhofe Changes Party, Sex |
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