Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com

Brady Peterson of Bridgewater, New Hampshire discovered he is 98% douchebag on Ancestry.com this week.

According to the 33 year-old douchebag, he received his comprehensive genealogical report just 24 hours after submitting a DNA sample and the names of all his known family members to the service.

"Apparently I come from a long line of douchebags. On both sides of my family," Peterson remarked. "Which is surprising, because I always thought I was mostly Swedish."

According to Peterson's full results, he is also 1% dickweed, 0.2% Cherokee, and 0.1% Irish.

"Funny. It sounds like one of my douchebag or dickweed relatives had a thing with a Native American at some point. How scandalous," he chuckled.

"And hey, I'm part Irish," Peterson added. "I'll wear my green with pride on St. Paddy's day from now on."

A colleague of Peterson suggested he might have saved his money.

"Everybody who goes on Ancestry.com is a douchebag," he said.

 
Read More

    Yanks Re-Sign Cancer Kid to One Year Deal

    Mario Lopez Interview Helps Nab Dick Cheney

    Porn Star Chloe Cox Placed on Injured Reserve with HIV