Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

CHARLOTTE, NC - After being shocked to discover that two of their penguins are gay, keepers at the Columbus Park Zoo have begun encouraging park patrons to harass the birds in a bid to cure them of their "fowl" behavior.

"Jerry and Terry are inseparable. They're completely devoted to each other, which is totally disgusting," Columbus Park's chief keeper Julie Cameron said of the homosexual penguins.

Given to public exhibitions of affection in which they entwine necks, vocalize to one another and even engage in intercourse, the same-sex couple have made themselves a popular target of physical and verbal abuse from concerned zoo-goers.

"We ask our visitors to help Jerry and Terry live a happy, wholesome lifestyle by shouting and throwing things at them," Cameron said, "It's both helpful and fun."

Gary Halford of nearby Mt. Holly says the gay penguins are his 8 year-old son Mason's favorite animals at the zoo.

"He loves those two penguins. He could call them fags and chuck change at their heads for hours," Halford said, adding: "Once he nailed Jerry right in the face. Or maybe it was Terry. I can't tell those two fudge packers apart."

Recently, Jerry and Terry have begun to show an interest in becoming fathers by incubating a fertilized egg, much to their visitors' disapproval.

According to one zoo-goer's sign: "It's Jerry and Terri, NOT Jerry and Terry."