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Kitty Pounces Ahead of Clinton, Trump for Pwesident! Baskets of Pleasure - A Hot Air Balloon Recommendation
 
DOW
Trump's Feud with Girl Scout Enters Second Week
Black Baseball Player Killed by White Umpire
NASDAQ
Melania Trump Publishes Masterful "Peace and War"
S&P
Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com
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9 Dead After Cops Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
"Polk" A Death Metal Off-Broadway Flop
A fuzzy funny kitty has pounced ahead of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, the latest presidential polls show. Yes he did. Didn't he? Yes he did! That fuzzy funny kitty. According to the latest Rasmussen Reports survey, kitty has double digit leads over both his major human opponents, and why not? Unlike Clinton and Trump, who are disliked by a majority of Americans, everybody loves kitty. Yes they do! Kitty has never compromised classified information or said insulting things about Mexicans, Muslims... (More)
New ChastityBit Lets Parents Track Daughters' Sexual Activity
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

Opinion
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)
Recent News
Have I Mentioned Yet that My Parents Are Illiterate Shit for Brains? - By: Ted Cruz - You might assume from my presidential candidacy and position in the US Senate that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not so. I come from very humble beginnings. In fact... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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