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Pharmaceutical Company Invents New Mental Disorder Congressional Republicans Introduce New 'NASCARE' Bill
Conservative Gals '79 is Fine' Counters Women's Movement
Gun Manufacturer Issues Massive Recall After Dozens Survive
Trump Signs Order Making English Official Language of World
Neil Young Quarantined After Musicians Declared Endangered
Can Super 8 be Converted to DVD
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White Leaders Reveal Time, Place Appropriate for Black Protest
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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on
Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
Pfizer Corp. announced its introduction and cure of a widespread new mental disorder today. Characterized by periodic feelings of anxiety relating specifically to the individual's mental health, Transient Borderline Dysmorphic Personality Disorder could affect some 70% of the population, the company's findings indicate. "The otherwise healthy subject will occasionally find him or herself wondering if there is something wrong with them - in particular... (More)
9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

But I Don't Wanna Go Back to Work! - By: Dale Kuyack - I don't care if I miss the bus. I don't wanna go back to work. And you can't make me! Please don't make me. I'm old and sickly. And I don't wanna. All the other employees are going to be less than half my age, and they're going to laugh at me... (More)
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Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police

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