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Every Contestant Wins National Spelling Bee Mayweather vs. Family Expected to Top $300 Million in PPV
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Conservatives Raise $15 for Anti-Gay Salad Bar
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
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Fox to Launch Fox Kids News Channel for Pedophiles

Every student who entered the 2015 Purina Puppy Chow National Spelling Bee clinched the title yesterday by attempting to spell words. 8th grader Andy Crouch was one of the 110 contestants to make it through each of the 6 rounds and tie for first place by spelling the word "nawlejable". "Spelling bees are stupid," Crouch said. "Fuck words." The bees organizers praised each of this year's winners... (More)

Congress Fights Pentagon Plan to Cut Zeppelin Funding
Town to Host Race Riot

I've Got a Mouth on Me - By: Gerald Madison - Hey shitface, guess what? I got a mouth on me. At least that's what all the fart-sucking dicktards in this jiz-stain fuckberg of a town say, anyway. All my teachers have said so... (More)
Recent News
Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Republicans Push to Elect President by Candidate Receiving Least Amount of Votes

Teen Corner - With: Former Soviet Red Army General Uri Pavlovich - Regarded as the most astute of any former Soviet Red Army General on issues concerning contemporary American teenagers, Uri Pavlovich's constructive insights are an invaluable resource. To solicit General Pavlovich's peerless advice... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police

Fun Christian Christmas Coloring Pages
Fucked Up Family Circus