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Gun Owner Successfully Protects Home against Kitten Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
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NRA: Americans Should Wear Bulletproof Tubes at All Times
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9 Dead After Cops Mistake White Shooter's Yellow Gun for Banana
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Search Links Donald Trump to Founding Father
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
Ted Cruz Replaces Daughter for Presidential Campaign Run
Local gun owner Frank Chance successfully defended his home against a kitten last night, shooting the five month-old Tabby with a 12-gauge shotgun. A 46 year-old father of two, Chance described the natural instinct to protect his household after being awoken by a noise shortly before midnight. "There was a commotion in the living room, and I just reacted," Chance recounted. "I grabbed the Mossberg from under my... (More)
Modernized Version of War and Peace Less Long, Boring
Fox to Launch Fox Kids News Channel for Pedophiles

Opinion
Have I Mentioned Yet that My Parents Are Illiterate Shit for Brains? - By: Ted Cruz - You might assume from my presidential candidacy and position in the US Senate that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not so. I come from very humble beginnings. In fact... (More)
Recent News
Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Teen Corner - With: Former Soviet Red Army General Uri Pavlovich - Regarded as the most astute of any former Soviet Red Army General on issues concerning contemporary American teenagers, Uri Pavlovich's constructive insights are an invaluable resource. To solicit General Pavlovich's peerless advice... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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