DOW
Boldly implying that the restoration of honor to the United States will take approximately seven months, Glenn Beck announced his plan to hold a public "Victory Party" on April 4th in Atlanta, Georgia. The fact that Martin Luther King was assassinated on April 4th forty-two years ago and buried in the park where the celebration is scheduled to take place is a coincidence... (More)
What Do I Need to Say to Put You in this Coffin Today? - By: A Sad Shell of a Man - Oh hi there. I see the Excelsior has caught your eye. It’s a fine coffin - very elegant. Do you mind if I ask what brings you by to see us today? Oh dear, that’s too bad. How long were you married? Wow, that’s almost twice as... (More) 
Let the Death Panels Commence! By: White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel - Good morning ladies, gentlemen. As you all have likely accurately predicted, the passing of President Obama's health care reform bill has given us the green light to initiate Special Project... (More)
Bodies of 72 Boys Found in Barn Owned by the Most Interesting Man in the World
Teen Corner - With: Former Soviet Red Army General Uri Pavlovich - Regarded as the most astute of any former Soviet Red Army General on issues concerning contemporary American teenagers, Uri Pavlovich's constructive insights are an invaluable resource. To solicit General Pavlovich's peerless advice... (More)
US Leaving Iraq on Threshold of Glorious New Stone Age
