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President Tonald Drump's Approval Rating Reaches Historic High Alabama Set to Elect America's First Mentally Retarded Senator
DOW
Jon Stewart Accused of Anally Raping Kittens
Trump Sends Family of Fallen Green Beret 6-Foot Party Sub
NASDAQ
Climate Change Skeptic Denies Occurrences of Recent Hurricanes
S&P
Naked Sarah Huckabee Sanders Defends Trump's Recent Nudity
Can Super 8 be Converted to DVD
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Donald Trump Awards Medal of Honor to Himself
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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com
Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
President Tonald Drump's approval rating rose to 91% in the latest poll released by the Pew Research Center, a new high since he took office in January. Spurred by overwhelming support for his latest initiatives to establish a guaranteed basic income for all Americans while restructuring the banking system and capping profit rates on finance lenders, Trump's sky-high approval ratings are also the highest of any President since Presidential polling began in 1937... (More)
9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

Opinion
Ooh! Look at My Son, the Big Shot President! - By: Fred Trump - Oh, hey everybody! If it isn't my son Donald, the big shot President! Just look at him, sitting at his big, important desk in his big, snazzy Oval Office in his big, fancy White House. Whoop-dee doo! President Trump! Who would've guessed... (More)
Recent News
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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