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Real Life Comes to Sudden, Poorly Resolved End 9 Dead After Cops Mistake White Shooter's Yellow Gun for Banana
DOW
The Interview Trails Staring At Wall in North Korean Ratings
NASDAQ
Ted Cruz Replaces Daughter for Presidential Campaign Run
S&P
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
Cold Stone Franchise
Koch's Offset Gates Foundation with $550M Donation to Evil
Super 8 Film to DVD
Lone Ferguson Officer Fired Black Used Honda Accord Tampa    
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
Report: 1.2 Billion Children Starving for Content
Fox to Launch Fox Kids News Channel for Pedophiles

CHICAGO, IL. - The real life of Aubrey Burkhart came to a sudden and poorly resolved end last night when the 25 year-old was hit by a bus. "Ms. Burkhart was attempting to cross North Michigan Avenue downtown at approximately 9:30 p.m. when she was struck and killed by a CTA bus. That's pretty much it," Chicago Transit Authority spokesman Sean Diemers... (More)


Congress Fights Pentagon Plan to Cut Zeppelin Funding
Town to Host Race Riot

Opinion
I've Got a Mouth on Me - By: Gerald Madison - Hey shitface, guess what? I got a mouth on me. At least that's what all the fart-sucking dicktards in this jiz-stain fuckberg of a town say, anyway. All my teachers have said so... (More)
Recent News
Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Republicans Push to Elect President by Candidate Receiving Least Amount of Votes

Teen Corner - With: Former Soviet Red Army General Uri Pavlovich - Regarded as the most astute of any former Soviet Red Army General on issues concerning contemporary American teenagers, Uri Pavlovich's constructive insights are an invaluable resource. To solicit General Pavlovich's peerless advice... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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