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Trump Vows, "Swift and Utter Annihilation," of Island Nation Mauritius Your Entire Fantasy Football Team Lost for Season
DOW
Climate Change Skeptic Denies Occurrences of Recent Hurricanes
Donald Trump Awards Medal of Honor to Himself
NASDAQ
Residents of Wehateniggersville Push Back Against Name Change
S&P
Naked Sarah Huckabee Sanders Defends Trump's Recent Nudity
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Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
In an addendum to his address to the United Nations Wednesday, President Trump promised, "Swift and utter annihilation of Mauritius," during a press conference with members of the international media this morning. "It will be fiery, and it will be utter. This, I can promise you," Trump remarked before abruptly leaving the podium. The President's dire oath has left leaders of the tiny island nation best known for it's beautiful white sandy beaches and once being the native habitat of the now extinct dodo... (More)
9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

Opinion
Ooh! Look at My Son, the Big Shot President! - By: Fred Trump - Oh, hey everybody! If it isn't my son Donald, the big shot President! Just look at him, sitting at his big, important desk in his big, snazzy Oval Office in his big, fancy White House. Whoop-dee doo! President Trump! Who would've guessed... (More)
Recent News
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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