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Worthless Asteroid Misses Earth by Miles Man Detects COVID in His Butt
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An asteroid estimated to be around 8 kilometers wide flew uselessly by the Earth today, failing to destroy the planet. Traveling at approximately 75,000 kilometers-per-hour, the asteroid could have brought an end to all life on earth, scientists say, a potential it failed to live up to when it missed the planet by over a million miles. "What a worthless piece of crap," one of billions of dejected earthlings vented on-line today. "I guess a million miles is close by the standards of the universe, but still. F*** that thing." Even more disappointing, astronomers say the next asteroid capable of... (More)


Dr. Fauci Urges Americans to Sexually Self-Gratify
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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com
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Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
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Opinion
Comedy = Tragedy + Time! - By: Donald Trump - Hey, there. Remember me? Of course you do. Who could forget the best President of all time? From my big, beautiful wall to Space Force to reversing the wrongs committed against Lil Wayne, I truly made America great again. They're just jealous! (More)
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As a Proud Patriot, I Will Sacrifice Nothing for My Country - By: J.T. Bell - Freedom, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These are the three pillars upon which America rests elevated above all others. They are the foundation for what makes this country the greatest in the history of mankind... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police

Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)



 
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