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War on Xmas: Mass Burnings of 2013 Christmas Gifts Signal Renewed Hostilities DreamYelp Allows Users to Rate Businesses They Visit in Dreams
DOW
God Recalls 9 Million Babies
NASDAQ
Local Police Department Acquires Nuclear Weapon
S&P
BLS Puke Bucket Challenge Raises $73

Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
Report: 1.2 Billion Children Starving for Content
Man Takes 40,000th Shit
Immigrant Children Taking US Kids' Jobs
Fox to Launch Fox Kids News Channel for Pedophiles
Congress Fights Pentagon Plan to Cut Zeppelin Funding

Thousands of tons of gifts from last year's holiday season went up in flames in organized public burnings around the country last night, signaling renewed hostilities in the War on Christmas. The incineration of enormous piles of smartphones, cameras, iPads, clothes, televisions, jewelry, video game systems and even cars in hundreds of cities and towns from... (More)


Town to Host Race Riot

Opinion
I've Got a Mouth on Me - By: Gerald Madison - Hey shitface, guess what? I got a mouth on me. At least that's what all the fart-sucking dicktards in this jiz-stain fuckberg of a town say, anyway. All my teachers have said so... (More)
Recent News
Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Republicans Push to Elect President by Candidate Receiving Least Amount of Votes

Teen Corner - With: Former Soviet Red Army General Uri Pavlovich - Regarded as the most astute of any former Soviet Red Army General on issues concerning contemporary American teenagers, Uri Pavlovich's constructive insights are an invaluable resource. To solicit General Pavlovich's peerless advice... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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