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Middle-Aged Man Jots Masturbation Reminder Onto Back of Hand Trump Tweets First Half of Top-10 Most Boring US Presidents
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Grandma Learns How to Share Vaguely Racist Thoughts on Twitter
Op/Ed: Is Sexually Assaulting 2 3 5 Women During the 80s so Bad?
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Pope Vows to Keep Child Molestation to Minimum
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Tennessee Little League Team Embarrass Selves, Volunteer State
Can Super 8 be Converted to DVD
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Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
48 year-old Rick Motter of Sarasota, Florida etched the letters 'JO' into the back of his hand with a ballpoint pen this morning, a quick reminder to his future self to masturbate later in the day. "They say it's good for your health to ejaculate regularly, but my wife and I just don't have the time or energy to have sex as often as we used to," the busy loan manager and father of two explained. "So I figure I should probably jerk myself off, but then I forget." Motter, whose father and uncle have both battled prostate... (More)
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9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

Opinion
Ooh! Look at My Son, the Big Shot President! - By: Fred Trump - Oh, hey everybody! If it isn't my son Donald, the big shot President! Just look at him, sitting at his big, important desk in his big, snazzy Oval Office in his big, fancy White House. Whoop-dee doo! President Trump! Who would've guessed... (More)
Recent News
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)



 
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