Polls, POLLS, POLLS!!!!! (And Also More Polls)

New polls show Donald Trump making inroads with people suffering from Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva, with the former president now trailing Kamala Harris just 53%-45% among likely voters whose connective tissues are slowly turning into bones.

Harris however got some good news of her own this morning, seeing lifts of 0.5%, 1.1% and 0.3% respectively over the last 24 hours from home brewers, people experiencing renal failure and Michiganites whose primary residence is currently listed as a boat.

In addition, despite still lagging 5 points behind Trump with people who like peaches more than plums, the Vice President narrowed overnight the cleft palate gap one full point to 3%.

In another aggregate of surveys taken in the last thirty minutes, Arizonians who identify as being interested in learning more about saving money on their auto insurance continue to support Trump by 8%, while those who have been diagnosed with foreign accent syndrome favor Harris by 5%, gubnah.

Meanwhile, Pennsylvania's pickleballers prefer Harris by 6% while its narcoleptics give Trump the nod by 3. Siamese twins are split down the middle and paranoid schizophrenics still refuse to answer the phone.

Of those not planning to vote for either Harris or Trump, 12% of identified objectophiles indicated that they would vote for the Brooklyn Bridge while 87% of those suffering from clinical depression failed to see the point.