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| Latest News |
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Recent News |
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| Fed Spokesman Reports Economy Going All to Shit |
 Study: 99.9% of Americans Suffering from Obscurity - A new study indicates that, despite their very best efforts, most Americans are not at all famous. A collaborative effort between over one hundred researchers in twenty laboratories on fifteen campuses across the... (More) |
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 New Birth Control Pill Turns Women into Christian Fundamentalists - A new form of contraception that turns its user into a fundamentalist Christian will soon be available to American women after receiving final approval from the FDA... (More) |
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| More National News |
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| • Veteran Dies Protecting Buffet Ice Cream Machine from Fat Woman |
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| • Limb Dismemberment Craze Excites Teens, Worries Parents |
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Appearing before the House of Representatives this morning, economist and Federal Reserve Board of Governors member Randall Mishkin surprised as many on Capitol Hill with his assessment of the nation's economy as he did with the stark language he employed to do so. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not going to jerk you off," Mishkin prefaced his opening remarks, "The economy is going all to shit." ... (More)
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• “God Hates Cripples” Says Christian Fundamentalist Group |
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• New Pfizer Study Reveals Majority of Infants Clinically Depressed |
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• ICE Raids Liberate Terrible New Jobs, Homes for Americans |
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• US Missile Defense Whatever Goes Catawampus |
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• Diebold Voting Machines Come To Life, Attack Democrat Voters |
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• Government Plan Offers Incentives for Abortions, Suicide |
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• Nationwide Scavenger Hunt to Give Barren Couples Life Mission |
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• Real Estate Agencies Resorting to Bloody Gangland Tactics |
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• Republican Senator James Inhofe Changes Party, Sex |
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• Student Kills 47 at Military School, Voted Valedictorian |
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• Obama Administration Allocates $40 Billion to Stupid Business |
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• Poll: 4% of Americans Vampires |
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• Video Games Causing Seniors to Think They're Wizards, Fairies |
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• American Consumers Eating More from Free Food Group |
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• Poll: 50% of Americans Still Give a Shit about Abortion |
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• Donald Rumsfeld Torturing Wife at Family Home |
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• Americans Return to Preschool Prior to Communist Conversion |
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