Your Daily Sex Traffic Report
With: Flabbergasted Dave

This is Flabbergasted Dave, your crying eye in the sky with the daily sex traffic report for all you sick freaks out there who are compelled by god-only-knows-what to pay the scum of the earth good hard-earned money for the opportunity to rape miserable abducted children.

Human traffic is running smooth as ever throughout most of the African continent - something I'd really rather not have to think about, to be perfectly honest. Meanwhile, a 15 year-old Russian girl on her way to Stockholm against her will grabbed the wheel of a van and steered the vehicle into the side of a bridge this morning, slowing the flow of sex slaves out of Moscow to a virtual halt and assuredly leaving several Scandinavian businessmen wondering how many times they have to fuck the same dead-eyed girl locked in the same boring hotel room near the same stupid airport for crying out loud!

In South Asia, if you're looking to bang some adolescent Nepalese poon this summer you might think again, because political pressure resulting from a recent program on the sex trade featuring Demi Moore has got human traffic in the area backed all the way up to Katmandu, with the only alternate route being the Nathu La pass around the jam before any of that sweet chloroformed kooch can trickle its way into Northern India and your greedy, crooked claws.

For you perverts in North America with a thing for Latinos, you'll no doubt be pleased to hear that the traffic of young boys and girls has really been picking up in the region as the Mexican cartels continue to transition more of their criminal efforts from narcotics to the increasingly lucrative sex trade. Oh, goodie for you.

Until next time this has been Flabbergasted Dave, your crying eye in the sky, saying look out below all you depraved, twisted fucks, because I think I'm about to puke.