Ghost of Charles Bukowski Haunting East Hollywood Apartment

After dozens of reports of extraordinary goings-on in unit K on De Longpre Avenue by its numerous occupants over the last twelve years, it has been determined that the ghost of Charles Bukowski is haunting the East Hollywood apartment he made his home from 1970 to 1978.

According to paranormal experts and friends of the ribald, alcoholic writer who passed away in 1994, the conclusion that his phantom presence is occupying the residence is the only logical explanation for what tormented tenants have testified to be the behavior of a depraved, disembodied drunk.

"I realized the first night the place was haunted when I heard these clicking noises, like the sound an old typewriter makes, and my stereo turned on to a classic music station all by itself, but I decided to let it go because he seemed harmless enough," recalled former tenant Debra Cortez, "But the ghost turned out to be a pretty bad drunk. Every drop of booze I brought into that place disappeared within twenty-four hours, and if I tried to keep a bottle to myself he would start to wreck the place. So I'd give in, but then he'd just get intoxicated and start trying to take my clothes off. I can still smell the vodka and wine on his breath."

Other female occupants of the residence have made similar accounts of their experiences in Unit K.

"Every day when I'd come home from work there'd be an ashtray full of cigarettes and a bottle by the couch," recounted a woman who lived in the apartment in 1998, "And I think he liked to sniff my panties too, because I'd find ashes in my underwear drawer."

The woman continued: "Then, one day after the two or three hundredth time seeing the words 'Let's Fuck' appear in shower steam on my bathroom mirror, I said, 'fine, let's see what you've got', but he couldn't perform, from all the alcohol I imagine, and I figured at that point that I should probably leave."

According to the men who've lived in the apartment since 1994, Bukowski's ghost hasn't been any more hospitable to his male cohabitants.

Remarked Gabriel Martinez, the current tenant of unit K, "The guy's a little crazy, but I don't mind. He drinks all my beer and sometimes sucker punches me out of nowhere for nothing, but I can take him. Usually I don't even have to hit the dude for him to go down. Also, he keeps the rent low and is real good at picking horses on the racing form."