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Congressional Republicans Introduce New 'NASCARE' Bill

Bending to pressure from conservatives in Congress, the GOP has issued a revised version of the American Health Care Act.

Officially dubbed 'NASCARE', the compromise cuts from the original AHCA controversial tax credits that would have made obtaining healthcare more affordable for many - a provision constituting an entitlement program, its critics claimed.

"Tax payers shouldn't feel entitled to anything," Kentucky Senator Rand Paul remarked.

The plan, which will offer its subscribers membership cards bearing the image of their NASCAR driver or race car of choice, would not be redeemable for actual healthcare.

"Now that's pretty cool, I have to admit," House Speaker Paul Ryan commented. "I know who I'd get on my card."

Like the original AHCA, NASCARE would also eliminate the individual mandate enforced by the Affordable Care Act that penalized individuals for electing to not carry health insurance, while increasing the surcharge from 30% to 60% the amount insurance companies could add to premiums of those who let their coverage lapse.

"I'd get Matt Kenseth," Speaker Ryan said. "He's from Wisconsin."

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