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Man Takes 40,000th Shit

Dan Boyer of Tempe, Arizona took his 40,000th shit this week.

Boyer, who will turn 88 years-old in July, revealed he was afraid he might not live to make his milestone poo.

"When I was younger I'd take two or three craps a day," Boyer recalled. "But my bowels don't move nearly as fast anymore. This last one took about a week."

The retired loan officer credits a specific diet regimen for his productive life.

"I eat a lot of meat," he said. "Meat makes you shit."  

Over his lifespan, Boyer has consumed an estimated 30,000 pounds of beef, 15,000 pounds of pork, three tons of cheese, ten million peanuts, 7,000 gallons of soda, 50,000 cans of beer, five thousand dozen eggs and about ten thousand Big Hunk bars. 

In addition to fecal matter, Boyer has also produced 12,000 gallons of urine, 10 fluid barrels of semen, and has watched the news approximately twenty thousand times.

"I like to stay informed," he remarked. "Although I don't really remember any of it."  

Boyer's 40,000th bowel movement, like his first, he says, was made in a bathtub.

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