NRA to Offer Uvalde Survivors All-Expense-Paid Water Park Adventure

Inspired by the groundswell of support shown for the town of Uvalde, Texas in the wake of last week's mass shooting, the National Rifle Association announced today that it will fund a trip for the attack's survivors to visit Hurricane Harbor Water Park in Arlington.

Adding to the two cases of teddy bears the gun rights organization has already supplied, the all-expense-paid water park adventure will be offered not only to every child who was in the classroom where the shooter shot and killed 19 children and two of their teachers, but those who were in the adjacent room at the time.

"Money is no object here," NRA spokesman Daniel Chambers remarked. "Someone forgot to lock the school's back door, and these children suffered a terrible tragedy as a result."

"It's very sad," Chambers continued. "Transportation and lunch at the park will also be provided, free of charge," he said.

Featuring over twenty attractions, including the just opened Banzai Pipeline - a thrilling, rushing water slide tower that twists, turns and spins guests down more than three stories – the Hurricane Harbor experience should be ideal for children of the age who were affected by the Robb Elementary shootings, Chambers pointed out.

"They should be tall enough to ride all the slides, but still young enough to be super psyched. I think it'll be lots of fun," he ventured.