I Enjoy Watching Penises Go In and Out of Vaginas
By: Tyler Jacobs

Strange as it may seem, I enjoy watching penises go in and out of vaginas. I don't know what it is exactly, but I can watch this seemingly mundane, repetitive activity two or three times a day and still get nearly as excited as I do watching men in tight pants pursue the comparatively more complex endeavor of chasing a ball around a field.

If I had to guess, I'd say it all started after a youthful foray into some Cagney and Lacy inspired detective work, when at twelve years old I saw my first penis going in and out of a vagina through a small hole I poked through a common wall between my bedroom and the back of my parent's closet. Intrigued as I was, the poop fit my mother threw when she found out likely deepened the nascent fascination germinating in my formative mind. Forbidden fruit and all that.

To put the magnitude of my strange affinity for watching penises go in and out of vaginas into proper perspective, I can tell you that I've paid good money for videos (most of poor production quality) of penises going into and out of vaginas, many of which I've watched numerous more times than my copies of such cinematic masterpieces as The Shawshank Redemption, Casablanca and Star Wars combined. Weird, huh?

In and out, in and out, in and out, over and over again, I could watch a penis that's white, black, uncircumsized or bent entering and exiting the vagina of a cheerleader, soccer mom, senior citizen or barnyard animal every day of the week.

And actually, in the interest of full disclosure, I've also even been known to watch penises go in and out of anuses, and cobs of corn and tennis rackets go in and out of vaginas, but the appeal there is different. I don't know, it's kind of hard to explain.