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Survey: 92% of Christian Housewives Reject Theory of Global Warming

A new survey appearing in The National Journal of Christian Housewives found that the vast majority of Christian housewives don't believe that humans cause global warming.

According to 92% of a group of women entirely unbiased by any formal education in climatology or other field of science, human-induced global warming is not real – a devastating blow to those in the scientific community who subscribe to the theory.

"I don't know, I just don't believe it," 57 year-old housewife and mother of four Shirley Smith of Sweetwater, Texas described the thought process that has led her to reject prevailing global warming theories, "The whole thing just sounds crazy."

Climate change was repudiated even more harshly by High School graduate Mary Finch of Crossville, Tennessee, who has considered the issue on a handful of occasions since marrying her high school sweetheart in 1982 and devoting her life to keeping a clean home and raising three children.

"The idea that people can control the weather – that sounds like science fiction stuff," she remarked.

NASA Scientist Henry Kim, one of almost 90% of the world's climatologists and earth scientists who had previously subscribed to the theory of global warming, celebrated the survey results.

Exalted Kim: "I am happy to announce that the voluminous amounts of empirical data and demonstrable facts that has led to overwhelming support for the tenable yet troubling theory of global warming amongst a large number of individuals possessing highly specialized and relevant academic backgrounds has been debunked by a group of hausfraus who couldn't tell a barometer from a bar stool."

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