Giuliani: Obama Victory Would Lead to "Negrofication" of Country

Two weeks after warning that the election of a Democratic president next November would likely lead to another 9-11 scale terrorist attack on US soil, Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani cautioned today that the election of Barack Obama specifically would bring about a "Negrofication" of the country.

Armed with slides of white suburban children dressed in hip-hop style clothing, gaudy jewelry and flashing gold capped smiles, a Rastafarian flag flying over the Capitol Building, and Oprah sporting a large, bushy afro, Giuliani conducted a jaw-dropping, thirty minute long presentation elucidating the dangers of what he referred to as "the inevitable negrofication of the country that would result from Barack Obama being elected President of the United States."

"Picture fried catfish, macaroni and cheese, and collard greens on your Thanksgiving table in place of turkey and mashed potatoes, your children dropping their piano and swimming lessons for dominoes, and many of our major cities reduced to rubble from cataclysmic earthquakes induced by the booming bass of rampant rap music," Giuliani admonished.

Giuliani concluded his incredibly offensive address by detailing his distinctive qualifications for preventing such a "nightmare scenario" from unfolding.

"As a former mayor of New York City, I know how to deal with these people," he proclaimed, then responded to an inquiry requesting clarification of what collard greens are with an ominous, "You don't want to know," before leaving the podium without answering any further questions.

While most analysts decried Giuliani's presentation as disgustingly racist fear mongering, many begrudgingly conceded that it was likely a politically astute move.

"As repulsive as his words were, they likely helped to ingratiate himself to the crucial 30% that comprises the bedrock of the Republican base, who, other than approving of Giuliani being married to his cousin for fourteen years, did not view Giuliani favorably up to now," remarked MSNBC's Tucker Carlson.