Republican Candidates All Deny There's Something Wrong with Britney Spears

Early into the first debate ahead of the 2024 presidential election, eight Republican candidates were asked whether they thought anything was wrong with Britney Spears.

"Do you believe that the singer Britney Spears is experiencing another mental breakdown, and if so, is society at large at least partially to blame?" debate moderator Martha MacCallum asked. "Raise your hand if you do."

None did. Despite an abundance of evidence indicating that Mrs. Spears is once again losing her mind, including a recent stream of self-published online videos of the former pop-star dressed in lingerie spinning around in circles in her living room, Republicans continue to largely deny that her behavior is problematic.

"For years my grandmother thought she was the poet Sylvia Plath," Florida Governor Ron DeSantis shared. "It wasn't a big deal. We just to keep her away from the oven."

Collective denial of things that are readily apparent is nothing new for the Republican Party, and yet its unwillingness to acknowledge Spears' recent unraveling seems especially baffling.

"I'd bet all the spinning around is an inner-ear thing," former Vice President Mike Pence suggested, extraordinarily. "My granddaughter had an ear infection a few months back and she'd spin around like a top for hours."