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Lindsay Lohan Blows Hit Album Out Her Vagina, Into Kazoo
Surprise, surprise. Silver screen starlet Lindsay Lohan is proving she can be a threat to the artists sitting atop the Billboard Top 40 as well as her box office competition and pedestrians since last week's release of her first commercial album "Songs I Know or Just Heard".
Reportedly recorded in less than an hour at a friend's house after a night out in Hollywood, the fourteen minute long, twelve song album combines an assortment of such venerable tunes as Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" and Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" with more contemporary hits like "Show Me What You Got" by Jay-Z, all recreated with a feminine flair by Lohan using a kazoo played out of her vagina.
"It's remarkably good. Even better than Paris Hilton's latest," penned Entertainment Weekly's Leah Greenblatt in a recent review of "Songs...", "Lending more substance to the argument 'less is more', Lohan makes inspired use of her lady parts to strip these classic songs of all their pretense and peruse their inner souls."
Added Greenblatt: "Never has a more moving version of 'Danny Boy' been committed to disc than here. Hats off to the amazing Ms. Lohan."
Like much of Lohan's recent exploits however, her foray into the music industry hasn't been without some controversy as many of the parent's of her prime demographic, girls between the ages of six and fifteen, have vocalized apprehension over the nature of the music contained on the album. In particular, the fact that it is produced by a young woman using her genitals to force air through a kazoo, likely while intoxicated.
"It concerns me greatly, yes," stated one mother of a ten year-old girl, "But I have to be honest, at the end of the day if I don't buy that album for my daughter, she's going to whine and complain until one of us ends up dead, so I gave in and bought it."
"Songs I Know or Just Heard" debuted at #7 on the Billboard charts.
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