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Porn Star Katrina Coxxx Wins AVA for Best Suicide by a Parent

Porn Star Katrina Coxxx took home the coveted Best Suicide by a Parent from this year's Adult Video Awards Saturday night.
The star of such films as Locker Room Sluts and There Will Be Cum, Coxxx's father Michael Rivers tied a length of rope wrapped around his neck to a tree outside his daughter's Hollywood apartment before getting behind the wheel of a rented Ferrari and hitting the accelerator last March, decapitating himself and badly burning his headless corpse when the sports car plummeted down a ravine and caught fire, according to the Los Angeles Police Department.
"I just want to thank my husband Rock Johnson, God, everybody at Bonertime Productions, and especially my dad for helping this dream come true," said a tearful Coxxx as she accepted her award.    
Not favored to win, Coxxx's victory came over Creamworks Studios Misty Melons, whose father died  from wounds inflicted by two German Shepherds he spent three months training to attack his own genitals.
"The method Ms. Melon's dad employed to end his life was certainly elaborate and likely extremely painful, but we've seen a glut of genital mutilation suicides lately - including Bunny Sinclair's mother, who earned Sinclair last year's Best Suicide by a Parent for inserting a shotgun into her vagina and blasting her uterus out of her back, so he might have lost some originality points with the academy there," remarked AVA President Jim Paige.

Rounding out the field of nominees this year were Lexus Hancock, whose mother took a bath with her daughter's Easy-Bake Oven, Kissy Kiss, whose adoptive father's suicide note, which read, simply, "I've gone out the window" referenced a quote from his and his daughter's favorite Woody Allen film from before she became an adult film actress, and Chrissy Cummings, whose dad stabbed himself three times in the neck with a screwdriver.

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