You Can Do Anything You Put Your Mind To - Assuming You Have At Least a Shred of Talent - By: Brendan Fraser

Last night, I was thrilled to win the award for Best Actor at The Critics' Choice Awards. It was a humbling experience which, as I mentioned in my speech, I will forever be grateful for. Being truly blindsided by the award, and as a result not as prepared as I would otherwise have been, I did say a few other things during that same speech which, upon further reflection, I feel need to be qualified.

In the course of my extemporaneous remarks I dedicated the honor to 'all the people out there who felt hopeless and helpless. Who felt that their dreams would never come true', which is fine. I then went on however to say that my success was proof that such improbable dreams could come true, and that 'you can do anything you put your mind to'.

This is the part I would feel remiss if I didn't amend, because there's an implication in there which probably needs to be made explicit. In particular, it would have been more accurate for me to have said, "You can do anything you put your mind to, provided you have at leaset some shred of talent." Because, let's be honest, regardless of how hard you might try at something, you're not going to get too far if you suck at it. A Jaden Smith might make it in Hollywood if he works hard at honing his acting craft, but he could never be in the NBA for two reasons: he's a bit of a wuss and his dad's not the coach.

Which brings me to another point. Talent or no, it really helps the chances of those wild dreams coming true if you have a mom of dad who has already achieved them. Take for instance Scott Eastwood or Kate Hudson. Both possess marginal ability, but remove the Dirty Harry and Private Benjamin parentage, and they'd probably be down at Lifetime Studios with all the other Johnny Nobodies and Dakota Jacksons auditioning for Deadly Garage Sale II.

In all honesty, dreams are dumb. That's what I should have said in my speech. At least the kinds most people have. I mean, think about it. The odds of becoming a famous actor or singer or professional athlete are a million to one - in other words, a recipe for disappointment and probably depression, likely leading to a drug addiction reducing you to turning tricks on skid row for cheap, stepped-on skag. No, best never dream at all. Take the civil service test and become a mail carrier, or a garbage man. Fuck dreams.