Comedy = Tragedy + Time!
By: Donald Trump

Hey, there. Remember me? Of course you do. Who could forget the best President of all time? From my big, beautiful wall to Space Force to reversing the wrongs committed against Lil Wayne, I truly made America great again. It's no wonder the Democrats impeached me twice. They were just jealous!

As for some of that other stuff (remember the Coronavirus?), well, you know what they say, comedy is just tragedy plus time! Like when Lincoln was shot or the Space Shuttle exploded, nobody laughed at first (in fact a lot of people cried), but looking back now, those events seem quite amusing.

Take for example that time some of my supporters raided the Capitol Building. Remember that? Thousands of people literally stormed the Capitol to overturn the election and kill my own Vice President, which seemed pretty crazy at the time. A lot of people were really upset about it. But now? Its just funny. Like Hurricane Katrina or World War II, everyone’s laughing about it. Like kids in cages plus a year or two, its actually quite hilarious.

What accounts for this phenomenon, you might be wondering? Well, that's something I've pondered a bit myself since deciding to retire. Why would I run for a second term when I nailed the first so perfectly, and why are things that are so tragic one day so chuckle-worthy not so long after? Maybe because all those people who were killed in Hirosushimi would have been dead by now anyway, you might say? But no, because not all would have been. Trust me, I think I might have met a few!

And its strange, because there are exceptions. Some things are never funny no matter how much time goes by. Like Obamacare, or Benghazi. Now, there are some real tragedies! Oh well, I guess its like the tides. Or whatever happened to all those Malaysian airplanes. Its just one of those mysteries that will never be solved!