White Leaders Announce Time and Place Appropriate for Black Protest

Tackling the sensitive topic of what constitutes an appropriate time and place for black people to protest racial inequality and police violence in America, the white leadership of one Midwestern town believe they have found an answer.

"From ten to twelve Saturday November 31st at Federal and 8th Street," Uniondale, Missouri Mayor Kevin Blash announced yesterday. "Our African American neighbors are welcome to spend this time in McKinley Park protesting racial injustice, police brutality, or whatever else might be on their minds," he said.

Blash later confirmed that the time allotted for the protest would be in the a.m.

"Take a knee, wave a sign, scream and yell, it's all good," he assured. "Get it all out of your systems."

Still, some Uniondale residents have expressed misgivings about either the time or place, or both, of the protest.

"Does it really have to be on the weekend?" asked one Caucasian woman. "And right across from the Kroger? I do my shopping Saturday mornings," she said. "Though I guess I could go to Lucky's. I think I lost my club card, but I suppose they should be able to use my phone number."

One thing most Uniondale residents - and Americans - agree on however, is that the protesting of the national anthem at football games should end.

"I'm starting to run out of explanations to my kids for why the black football players aren't standing for the flag," remarked a mother of three. "I'm on to that they're contact lenses fell out, and I don't know how much longer that one will hold up."

Meanwhile, a member of Uniondale's black community has since dispelled concerns regarding the protest, pointing out that there is no 31st in November.