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Layer of Homeless Discovered Orbiting Earth
Investigating a series of mysterious radio signals believed to have originated from outside the Milky Way later proven to be of human origin, astronomers have revealed the discovery of a layer of homeless people orbiting the Earth.
"We might not have proven the presence of intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, but I think we just figured out where all of New York's homeless population went to in the 90s," David Reiser of Swinburne University in Melbourne remarked.
Located approximately 2,000 kilometers above the planet, between Earth’s low and mid orbit ranges, the stratum of homeless, which might also explain the sudden desertion of skid row in San Diego leading up to this year's Comic Con and All Star baseball game, has reportedly grown thick enough to reflect terrestrial transmissions and mislead human analysts into believing the existence of alien civilizations that also like The Beatles.
"Space bums. I should have guessed," Reiser scoffed.
NASA has since confirmed the orbiting layer of homeless after redirecting the International Space Station to investigate.
"Upon encountering the layer, our astronauts immediately received thousands of requests for change to ride the bus," NASA spokesperson Emily Hyde stated. "They also reportedly heard someone playing the same Tracy Chapman song on guitar over and over again."
Hyde went on to say that the homeless layer could have the unintended benefit of helping to absorb some of the sun's harmful UV radiation, and could last 50 years or more as, "These people are pretty durable."
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