Trump Announces Plan to Reduce Prices to 19th Century Levels if Re-elected

Donald Trump revealed today that if he is re-elected President, he will lower prices to levels not seen in nearly 200 years.

In characteristic all-caps fashion, Trump took to his Truth Social account to blast the current administration for the high cost of things while announcing his own plan to make them much, much cheaper.

"PRICES UNDER SLEEPY JOE ARE OUT OF CONTROL! WHEN THE (BRILLIANT AND HIGHLY INTELLIGENT) ANDREW JACKSON WAS POTUS, A CARTON OF MILK ONLY COST 2 CENTS! A GALLON OF GAS ONLY COST A NICKEL!"

"RE-ELECT ME AND WE'LL HAVE THOSE PRICES AGAIN! LET'S MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!" Trump posted.

Despite not providing any details on how he might slash prices of goods and services by upwards of 98%, Trump's posts were received predominately with strong approval.

"Prices now are way too high. I remember when Trump was President they weren't as high, which means he's better," one respondent commented. "I mean, sure, he might be a dictator, but five cents for a gallon for gas? I'd vote for that."

Neither did references to Trump's historical deficit spending and demands OPEC reduce oil production while in office being largely behind the inflation and rising gas prices Americans are seeing today have any influence on the majority of opinions.

"I don't know what that means," one poster remarked. "All I know is that Biden is President and I just paid twelve dollars for a ham sandwich. So f*** Joe Biden."