Household Savings Tips to Help Families Give More to Trump's Legal Defense Fund
Besieged on all sides by the armies of Joe Biden's shadowy Deep State empire for the crime of trying to make America great again, Donald Trump needs our help now more than ever. The following are some ways you and your family can save money to use to contribute more to our President's legal defense fund:
• Donate your children's college savings. When Donald is fully exonerated and back in the White House, America will get all its coal mine and spinning jenny jobs back, eliminating the need for expensive higher education.
• Cut costs by canceling your health insurance. Diseases like diabetes and cancer are fabrications of the liberal medical industrial complex designed to lash you to a life of fearful servitude.
• Consider allocating a percentage of your estate to Donald's political action committee. Like 100%.
• Find out if you qualify for food stamps or any other kind of welfare offered by the state or federal government.
• Replace your kids' expensive after school activities with ones that actually make money, like collecting recyclable cans and bottles. Let junior put all those karate lessons to use repelling homeless scavengers from your neighbors' blue bins.
• Hands off the thermostat! Will you die if your house is a few degrees hotter in the summer or colder in the winter? Probably not. Will you die if Joe Biden is elected to a second term in the White House? Absolutely.
• You can trim up to 33% off your grocery bills by shoplifting one-third of the items you would normally pay for from the market. A 50% shoplifting rate could net even more savings, and rest assured you'll be doing the right thing giving that money to a great cause rather than a greedy, globalist supermarket conglomerate.
• Buying your kids' clothes at secondhand stores offers enormous opportunity to save money you can send to Donald Trump's legal defense. Kids don’' care what they wear, and every cent counts!
• Snip even more from your family's wardrobe budget by making your own clothes. If you find your sewing skills lacking, all you need to show Donald how much you care is a burlap sack and a pair of scissors!
• When taking advantage of so-called "free" forms of entertainment, realize that many come with hidden costs. Sure, a day spent at Disneyworld is more expensive than one spent at the park or hiking through the woods, but those activities still burn calories and sole rubber, leading to more money spent on food and shoes down the line.
• Unlike expensive grocery stores, nature provides a bounty of free food. Your neighbor's garden, for example, or the dumpster behind Wendy's.
• Cancel Xmas! Jesus would certainly approve.