Tips for Surviving (And Thriving!) Under Biden Administration's Socialist Regime

With Joe Biden's radical left-wing policies soon to be transforming the country into a communist dystopia, we can expect our lives to look profoundly different in the near future. The following are some helpful tips to surviving (and thriving!) in America's new socialist era.

• Maintain a cheerful disposition. A life of forced labor might not be a lot of fun, but when life hands you a pile of turnips, make smoothies!

• Whenever the topic of abortion comes up, make sure to let the person you're talking to tell you how many they've had first so that you can say you've had a number that's higher. Democrats love killing babies.

• Babies that look particularly attractive on their sonograms will sometimes be allowed by Democrats to be born for sexual purposes. Compliment how handsome/beautiful your liberal friends' children are and how you wouldn't mind molesting them.

• Snitching is richly rewarded in communist countries. If you notice your neighbor throwing recyclable materials in the garbage or washing his car more than the maximum permitted once per year, call the authorities. You might just get a bump in your weekly kombucha ration!

• Get a jump on the curriculum of your mandatory re-education program by reading everything ever written by Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn. Impress your instructor on how well-versed you are on what a giant gaping asshole Henry Frick was.

• Men's and Women's rooms will soon be a thing of the past. In Biden's America there will be only "People's Rooms" - which will actually still be a misnomer as there will be no stalls, walls or roofs, and animals will also be permitted as well as sex perverts and pedophiles (naturally) who will be provided comfortable chairs.

• If a black or Latino person breaks into your house, be sure to call the police to report the lingering inequality of wealth that compelled him or her to do so.

• Consider starting a delivery service to stay on the good side of the local politburo. It's always better to be driving the van than to be in the back of it!

• Political correctness will be strictly enforced under the Biden regime. Speak up loudly and clearly for the Deep State operative listening in on your every conversation about how you think that gay people are just as good at sports and that there should be more retarded people on TV.