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Boy's Science Fair Project Proposes Mass Murder to Curb Climate Change

Known in his hometown as Connor the Conservationist, eleven-year-old Connor Grady's submission to his Middle School's Environmental Science Fair received a mixed response this week, raising a few eyebrows but also several hundred dollars after he proposed to help curb climate change by murdering millions of people.

"Really, it's the only way to reach net zero carbon emissions by 2050," the precocious pre-teen argued in favor of his design to cleanly and efficiently wipe nations'-sized numbers of people from the map. "Bottom line, human over-population of the planet is the root cause of climate change."

A two-prong approach, Grady's entry described "culling centers" reminiscent of Nazi concentration camps where people would be transported and euthanized with an environmentally-neutral gas prior to their bodies being used to fertilize the surrounding land for the planting of new forests.

"We would use sulfuryl fluoride, which is what they use to kill termites and is totally harmless to the environment," Grady said. "Also, for those not selected for death, an aggressive birth control program involving contraceptive chemicals delivered via the water supply will suppress the rate at which the human race is rutting itself towards extinction."

Despite not placing in the fair and being ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation prior to returning to school, Grady called the other entries in the contest "laughable".

"Converting old t-shirts into re-usable grocery bags is not the answer," he scoffed, referencing this year's blue ribbon winner. "In fact, its a joke."

"Climate is a big problem that requires a big solution," Grady reasoned. "I say, kill 'em all and let God sort them out."

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