Local Woman Realizes Lifetime Dream of Dying from a Preventable Disease

Geraldine Futcher of Conway, Texas realized her lifelong dream of dying of a preventable disease Tuesday when she passed away from complications related to COVID-19.

A 40 year-veteran of the Conway Parks and Recreation Department who walked with a limp from a polio infection she contracted in 1967, Futcher always fantasized about perishing from a disease which could easily be avoided, according to her 3 children.

"Mother's had tetanus, measles, mumps, rubella, dengue fever, even a case of rabies from a pet squirrel she bit, but none of them ever done her in. Even this Coronavirus, it didn't seem to take to her. We were afraid she'd had it and been one of those asymptomatics," Futcher's daughter Deborah remarked.

Continued Deborah: "No matter where we took her – the bar, the strip club, the fraternity pool party, she never caught it. But then, she did, and it was wonderful."

Unvaccinated, Futcher quickly developed severe respiratory complications, necessitating an "exciting" two-week stint on a ventilator prior to her death.

"I know Mom was enjoying herself, even if she couldn't show it what with the Alzheimer's. I'm sure she enjoyed it much more than that big fancy house or her Ford Fiesta," George Futcher surmised.