The Porno of Today is More Profane than Ever Before
By: Rep. Charles Monroe (R-NE)

Ladies and gentlemen of the House, Madame Speaker, I thank you for yielding the floor to me today so I may address what I view as a growing threat to our nation.

My fellow colleagues, after no small amount of assiduous personal research, it has come to my attention that the abundance of foul language being spoken, screamed, moaned and groaned by contemporary adult film stars has risen so pronouncedly over the past decade that the porn of today has nearly reached the saturation point for profanity.

This simply will not do.

Indeed, it is my informed opinion that modern porn actors are currently being directed to go out of their way to be as profane as possible. Everything is 'stick your c--- in my p----' this, and 'c-- on my t---' that, without any vestige of decorum or class. No longer does the funeral director politely ask the beautiful, buxom widow if he can make love to her from behind as she lays draped over her husband's casket, deferring to less ribald language that would be more amenable to the grieving woman; no - he doesn't need to. She's literally screaming for him to f--- her tight widow a------ without the slightest demurement, please or thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, is this the kind of language you want your children and grandchildren exposed to?

Take for example a film I downloaded from the internet last week through a series of steps any child possessing the most fundamental computer skills and a willingness to misrepresent his age could duplicate at any unsupervised moment. Entitled "P---- Party", the movie should have been called "'F---' Party" for the one hundred and fifty-seven times the self proclaimed 'c-- drunk f--- sluts' used the 'F' word during its nineteen minute run time.

And then, upon returning to my computer half an hour later, I discovered a movie called, maybe you guessed it, "F--- Party".

Friends, I assure you it wasn't this way in the 80s.

My esteemed fellow Congressmen and women, I ask you to reflect on what I've said here today. I ask you to reflect upon the profound, widespread impact this issue could have on our country and its young people's future ability to request the giving or receiving of oral sex in a civil manner without resorting to crude, barbaric metaphors and four-letter words. Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you to stand with me in condemning this proliferation of porn profanity, and to vote yes on HR 7347.

Thank you.