|Home||World||National||Opinion||Local||Entertainment||Home And Garden||Advice||Farts And Giggles|
North Koreans Test Nuclear-Fired Bobsled
In a major show of defiance to the international sporting community, North Korea test-launched a nuclear-fired bobsled today outside of Kaesong.
Coming just days after the rogue nation announced that it would participate in this year's Winter Olympic Games, the bobsled, reportedly capable of reaching a velocity of 1,300 MPH in under two seconds, would likely be hard to beat.
"The People's Sled #1 will shatter the current world record of 54.8 seconds by more than 54 seconds," North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un boasted.
Incapable of navigating the turns of a bobsled course in any traditional fashion at such speeds, the sleigh was presumably designed to blast through them directly toward the finish line - a journey that would assuredly cause the death of anyone onboard.
"Our sledders are prepared to make any sacrifice necessary," Jong-un remarked. "The People's Sled was built to bring glory for the people of North Korea and shame to the West."
None of the sleigh's four-man crew was made available for questions.
|Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty|
|Cynical Boy Loses Out on Twenty Dollars, Free Ice Cream from Stranger|