Senior "Prank" Leaves Eight Dead, Dozens Wounded at California High School

Bayside High School in Bayside, California became a battlefield this morning when, in the name of an unfathomable prank, a group of senior students killed eight and injured dozens more during a bloody assault on their campus.

Thinking that their actions would be perceived as "sort of funny", the three perpetrators comprising the self-titled "Windbreaker Syndicate" initiated their murderous joke from the woods surrounding the school shortly after 8:30am - when they began detonating the first of over a dozen plastic explosive charges they'd surreptitiously placed throughout the campus the week prior, then opening fire on the school's buildings with a small arsenal of hand guns, automatic rifles and a mortar launcher, leading to a two hour firefight with local police and eventually a platoon of National Guardsmen that ended only after a helicopter gunship could be deployed from a nearby Marine base, compelling the students to surrender.

"I realize senior pranks are a longstanding tradition at this school and across the nation, but this was way over the line," proclaimed Alex Kroner, Bayside High's Vice Principal, "Fun is fun, but killing people and destroying school property is definitely going too far, and as this school's head authority since Principal (Richard) Belding succumbed to the shrapnel and bullet wounds he suffered in the attack not long ago, I can assure you that none of these boys will be participating in any of the senior events planned for later in the year."

Despite such harsh words from school administrators, the police and FBI, many have sided with the students, saying the whole incident is being blown out of proportion.

"I don't know, I got shot and I still think it was pretty funny," remarked Madison Junior Brandon McKay, "The explosives and machine guns were like, the set-up, and the mortars were the punch line, you know? I mean, that was totally over the top. When those shells started coming down, I just totally started busting up."

Derrick Morris, the father of one of the attackers, argued in favor of his son: "Although I concede that the prank was a little extreme, I think that the satire should be pretty obvious considering the rash of school shootings and such that have gone on in this country in the last couple of years, but maybe the cops don't read the papers."

The three boys involved in the attack, Zachary Morris, Albert Clifford Slater, and Samuel Powers, all 17 years-old, remain in custody and are likely to face multiple murder charges, authorities report.