Scattergories Dispute Ends With Three Dead

Rochester, New York - A game of Scattergories ended with three dead when disgruntled participant Rudy Norwood, 28, stabbed and killed his father, sister and brother-in-law with a screwdriver Saturday.

Marketed as a wholesome, family oriented game that challenges contestants to match categories using words that start with the same letter in a limited amount of time, Scattergories has come to be known as an incendiary source of household dischord by many of those who've actually played it in real life, but never before has the line separating verbal and non-lethal physical abuse from murder been breached - until now.

According to the police report, the killings stemmed from a heated argument over one of Norwood's answers, in which his response of "phillips head screwdriver" as a weapon beginning with the letter "P" was rejected by a three to two vote.

Reportedly fuming, "We'll see about that," Norwood left the game and returned shortly later to stab his father Terry, 61, his brother-in-law Thomas Gordon, 31, and sister Lisa, 30, to death with a phillips head screwdriver.

"Violent Scattergories arguments aren't anything new in their family; in fact, they're practically tradition in that house," recounted Jeremy Strickland, a family friend who, along with Norwood's mother Joanne, supported Rudy's disputed response and survived the attack unscathed, "Rarely did a game not devolve into a calamity of obscenity laden incriminations, thrown dishes and an occassional fist fight, but obviously nothing like this."

According to Strickland, Norwood attacked his father first, demanding to know if the screwdriver, "Felt like a weapon now", before turning on his shocked sister and her husband.

"It might not have been designed for the purpose of stabbing someone to death as they argued, but it sure could do the trick in a pinch," remarked Strickland, "Which is what I said and why I voted for him."

Norwood, currently being held at the Rochester City jail waiting for his arraignment, is confident of his inevitable vindication - for his controversial Scattergories answer, anyway.

"A friend of mine did a web search, and surprise, surprise, there have been literally dozens of other cases of people who've stabbed other people with screwdrivers. It's sharp at the end and can be wielded like a knife, for Christ sake," Norwood fumed.

And what of his dead family members assertion that a phillips head screwdriver can only be classified as a tool, per its intended purpose?

"That's fucking bullshit. Nitroglycerin was originally meant to be used as a tool, not a weapon, but we gave Tom that one when the letter was 'N'," Norwood ranted, "I even voted to allow my dad two points for his answer 'prescription pills' for 'Things Found in a Medicine Cabinet', but instead of reciprocating my goodwill, he decided to fuck me over. Well, now he's dead. Murdered with a phillips head screwdriver of all things."