Make-A-Wish Helps Racist Boy Realize Dream of Shooting Unarmed Black Man

9 year-old Make-A-Wish recipient Connor Banks had a busy first day as the newest member of the Milwaukee police department Friday, "solving" a robbery and shooting at several unarmed African American bystanders.

Banks, a racist who suffers from morbid obesity, started his morning by being sworn in by Police Chief Rex Beneke over breakfast at a local IHOP, where he assaulted a black patron.

"Connor ate three tall stacks of pancakes and then just started wailing on this black guy sitting at the table next to us with his billy club," Banks' "partner" Officer Todd McMillan recounted the exchange, which ended in the man actually being arrested after he resisted his fake arrest.

Banks later got to respond to a liquor store robbery, where another member of the MPD was waiting outside disguised in black face paint and holding a bag full of cash.

"Connor shot the suspect and pocketed the cash," McMillan reported. "He then shot at a black motorist and a black woman standing at a nearby bus stop."

Banks, who doctors say could live as long as thirty more years, seemed to really enjoy himself, according to his partner.

"His gun was loaded with blanks, so he didn't actually hurt anyone, but you could tell he was having a great time shooting at those black people," McMillan said.