MAGA Version of Greta Thunberg Challenges Swedish Activist to Steel Cage Match

Derricka Crude, conservative America’s answer to Swedish climate change icon Greta Thunberg, is calling out the Scandinavian activist, challenging her to a steel cage match at this year’s WWE Survivor Series in November.

"Greta Dumberg (sic) is a lying, lib-tard sack of crap, and I want to see her in the ring November 22nd at Survivor Series in Chicago," Crude remarked. "I'm gonna mess that b*tch up."

Chiding Thunberg over her aims to compel the world's leaders to reduce global carbon emissions, Crude promised to send the 16-year-old home in a body bag.

"I'm sick and tired of that Volvo driving meatball eater yodeling all her lies about the coal industry and oil companies. My daddy works for Chevron. What about it, b*tch?" Crude erupted.

Added Crude: "Bring it on, Dumberg. You'll be sailing back to Stockholm in your schooner's freezer, snowflake."

Crude went on to describe the kind of match she's hoping to have with Thunberg.

"No holds barred. Like our economy should be. I'm going to DDT that glacier-loving wuss and be home in time to run both my washing machine and dish washer during peak hours," Crude boasted.

Thunberg, who denies knowing who Crude is, also denied that she drives a Volvo.

"I actually don't have a driver's license. I try to walk or ride my bicycle most places," Thunberg said.

"Also, I don't eat that many meatballs," she noted. "Of course I eat some, who could resist? But not really so many."