Chinese Fume Over Firing of Chinese Spy from US Defense Agency

Two weeks after protesting the downing of a high-altitude surveillance balloon from US airspace, Beijing is fuming once more over the 'wrongful termination' of a Chinese spy from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.

Chiang Ping, who reportedly had been working at the secretive agency associated with such projects as stealth technology and the internet to mind control devices and weather machines, was an "exemplary employee" whose firing was "completely unwarranted", China says.

"Mr. Ping was a highly motivated and industrious worker who contributed positively to multiple programs while at DARPA," Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Zhang Han remarked, quoting the double agent's most recent work evaluation. "Mr. Ping was punctual, inquisitive and highly enthusiastic about expanding his role within the agency."

China, which accused the US of overreacting and "seriously violating international practice" over Ping's termination, indicated that they will reserve the right to address similar situations in kind.

"As unfair as it is, any American found spying against China will henceforth be tossed out into the street without so much as a severance package," Han proclaimed, making reference to Mr. Ping's own lack of any post-redundancy compensation.

"We most solemnly protest the fact that not only have Mr. Ping's vacation hours not yet been paid, but that he was not even offered COBRA to extend his health insurance, which we're pretty sure is illegal," said Han.