Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Contact

Suicide by Fan of Playoff-Bound Dodgers Baffles Officials

A man who committed suicide by jumping off the upper deck at Dodgers Stadium one week after the team clinched this year's National League West title has left officials looking for answers.

"The death of Robert Randolph has been ruled a suicide, the Dodgers success this season notwithstanding," Los Angeles Medical Examiner's Office Director Nalappan Chhetri remarked this morning.

Chhetri refused to make public what evidence led to their conclusion that Randolph intentionally caused his own death just days before his team played in their first playoff game in four years.

"It doesn't make sense. We're 25 games over .500 for crying out loud," remarked Dodgers General Manager Ned Colletti, "Last year I could understand. In 2011 I almost threw myself off the upper deck. But now? I don't get it."

Adding to the mystery, the long-term future of the team looks brighter than it has in decades.

Commented one Dodgers fan: "We've got Magic in the owner's box, we've got Kershaw on the mound, and now we've got Yasiel Puig. I mean, hello?! The kid's dynamite."

Randolph, who was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, is not survived by anybody.

Read More

    Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police

    Ask a Taliban Home Improvement Expert

    Pawlenty Presidential Exploratory Committee Vanishes in Arctic Circle