Adam "Pacman" Jones To Be Indicted On War Crimes Charges

Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis confirmed that his team has terminated talks with Adam "Pacman" Jones today after it was reported that the troubled cornerback is likely to be indicted on war crimes charges.

According to a source knowledgeable of proceedings inside the Hague, the International Criminal Court in the Netherlands is currently preparing charges against Jones for acts of genocide and other crimes against humanity committed during a 2 month period he spent in war torn central Africa while under suspension from the NFL for his involvement in a Las Vegas nightclub shooting, amongst other off-the-field conduct determined to be detrimental to the league.

"In November 2007, an entourage led by Jones traveled to eastern Congo, whereupon forming a militia of young men kidnapped from small villages near the Uganda border, used fear, mental conditioning, and addictive, hallucinogenic drugs to convert these boys into instruments of murder, rape and mutilation against the native population in furtherance of the acquisition of diamonds and other valuable gems harvested from regional mines," said Interpol spokesman Richard Godard.

Therese Kizende, a Burundi woman who still shivers at the utterance of the name "Pacman", recounted the day Jones and his militia came to the village she once shared with her husband and two children.

"Pacman came at dawn and raped everything. They raped me, my husband, my baby and our pig. Then they started shooting. They shot everybody. They shot me twice and I played dead. Finally, they took all the young boys after raping them again."

Although Jones admits witnessing the pillaging of a number of villages while vacationing in the Congo in late 2007, he denies any personal wrongdoing.

Worrick Robinson, Jones's agent, remarked, "Adam acknowledges a lapse in better judgment for allowing himself to be in these situations in the first place, but he did not kill, maim or rape anybody."

Robinson added that Jones will continue to train diligently in the off-season and looks forward to playing for an NFL team in 2009.