|Home||World||National||Opinion||Local||Entertainment||Home And Garden||Advice||Farts And Giggles|
Chinese Olympians Harvested for Scrap
As this year's London Games draw to a close, China has begun to harvest their Olympic athletes for scrap.
In what has become a quadrennial tradition, Chinese athletes used in this year's competition will first be stripped of their vital body parts before their carcasses are rendered and harvested for a variety of practical materials.
"No part of the Olympic hero will be wasted," boasted Chinese Olympic Committee President Zhao Xiaoting, "Each and every component will be converted into resources to power China forward."
In addition to transplantable organs for high ranking officials, the anatomical elements of Chinese Olympic athletes can be used to make a myriad of products, including fuel, soap, pet food, pharmaceuticals and cosmetics.
"Recycled Olympian meat and bone meal can be burned like coal to generate energy for homes and factories, or be used as food for prisoners and school children," Xiaoting said.
Xiaoting reported that China's most decorated 2012 Olympic athlete, Ye Shiwen will be kept intact to serve as a living exhibit in the country's National Sports Museum.
|Taylor Hicks Announces Plans for Summer Suicide Attempt|
|Mitt Romney Courts Women's Vote by Turning into Lady|