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Undead Ruth Bader Ginsburg Vows to Serve Four More Months
In the wake of the political crisis following her death last week, Ruth Bader Ginsburg emerged from the Arlington National Cemetery this morning to resume her tenure as an Associate Justice on the Supreme Court.
Adding to her impressive legacy on the bench and as a civil rights attorney while living, the undead Ginsburg traversed the 4.5 mile distance between her grave and the SCOTUS courthouse in a little over five hours, evidently with the intention of reclaiming her position there at least throughout the upcoming election.
"Trump bad. Must stop," Ginsburg reportedly said upon returning to her chambers, before collapsing in a dusty heap at her desk.
Her heroic efforts notwithstanding however, the Senate GOP has already begun moving to block RBG's reinstatement, arguing that she is still dead.
"We're not about to let zombies take over our legal system. This is the United States," Ted Cruz argued. "Sorry, but once you're dead, you're out."
Countering arguments that Ginsburg shows clear signs of mental impairment since returning from the afterlife, Democrats pointed out that she seems more coherent than the President.
"At least she can get close to a complete sentence," Chuck Schumer said.
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