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Trump Scientists Perfect Artificial Non-Intelligence
Trump scientists announced a major breakthrough in Artificial Non-Intelligence today with the unveiling of the ZeepZop 2000, a highly unintelligent device with no practical function.
Designed by UIBM, formerly Apex Technologies before it let go all of its foreign H-1B and L-1 Visa holders in exchange for hundreds of American scientists and engineers with no background in their field, the ZeepZop 2000 is the culmination of thousands of man hours funded by millions in federal government funding.
"Its basically a bunch of broken appliances and scrap we glued together from the dump," Head Engineer Ashton Sanders reported.
"There's an old toaster in there that we took from our breakroom that still works, but it's cord doesn't reach very far," Sanders added.
Built atop a roller dolly platform borrowed from the UIBM warehouse, the ZeepZop 2000 was designed to be highly mobile.
"You can wheel it around anywhere," Sanders said. "Except up or down stairs. I don't see how that would work."
Sanders went on to speculate that the ZeepZop 2000's limitations might actually make it ideal for a position in the administration whose policies' enabled it's creation.
"I could see the ZeepZop as the next Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, or even Attorney General," he proposed. "The ZeepZop 2000 would never do anything you didn't want it to do, or anything else at all."
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