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Syria's Yelp Rating Dips to New Low

Continuing its recent downward trajectory, Syria's Yelp rating dropped to an official cumulative average of 1.5 stars on the popular social review website this week.

Down from a 3.0 since March 2011, Syria's new rating is the worst of any nation in the region, ranking it behind such two-star countries as Iraq and Egypt.

Reads one review from Yasser72: "Not a fan! The government has not changed in 43 years, and frankly, the management is quite bad. My family has received very poor service from the Ba'ath party as of late, and when we complained they dropped bombs on our house! WTF?!"

Other reviews compile a litany of gripes against the government that range from the expansion of socioeconomic inequality to the lack of parking in the capital and the use of chemical weapons to commit mass murder of its own people.

Wrote another disgruntled citizen: "Does anybody ever go anywhere in Damascus? Be prepared to drive in circles for hours looking for a parking spot when you come to make a complaint to your Counselman, and once you do, expect to be shot."

Syria's 1.5 rating now puts it just above Zimbabwe, where 94% of the population is unemployed and 100% of the female population reports being raped at least once per day.

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