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Trump Promises AHCA to Cover Medication Seniors Take All at Once

Responding to public outcry against the GOP's proposed healthcare plan and elements of his budget that include significant cuts to the Meals on Wheels program, President Trump confronted claims he is waging a war on the elderly by announcing today that the AHCA would completely cover the cost of medication seniors take all at once.

"Especially if they have a few drinks afterwards," the president chuckled. "But seriously, we'll pay for the bottle of scotch, as well. This is a great deal for everybody."

"I mean, really, these people are costing us a fortune, guys," he added.

Addressing the cuts to Meals on Wheels, Trump indicated that he has a new and improved replacement plan.

"It's called the 'Make Your Own Damn Sandwich Plan'," he declared. "Every week, our nation's seniors will be able to log onto the Whitehouse.gov blog for new, easy to follow recipes to make their own damn sandwiches. For example, by taking a handful of baloney and slapping it between two slices of bread."

"And if that's still too complicated, try rolling yourself down to Subway for one of their footlongs," he said. "Those cost like, what, five dollars?"

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