Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

School District to Cut Music, P.E., Civics, English, History, Math, Science

RICHMOND FALLS, MD - The Richmond Falls Unified School Board passed a resolution Tuesday night that would allow it to cut music, physical education, civics, political science, English, history, math, science and all foreign languages from its curriculum.

Richmond Falls Unified Superintendent Peter Kline cited a budget shortfall and the "non-essential nature" of the affected programs in justifying the cuts.

"Until someone invents a time machine, history is history and is therefore not relevant," Kline said, "As for teaching English, the kids already speak it. This is the United States of America, the last time I checked."

Regarding the discontinuation of the other programs, Kline remarked, "Whatever."

In place of a more traditional curriculum, Kline indicated that students will be taught important sitting down and shutting up skills.

"Quiet and still time will take place in school auditoriums from 8:30 to 3 o'clock each day," he said.

In addition, Richmond Falls Unified students could receive valuable job training.

"We are currently in negotiations with a solar panel company interested in having our kids assemble their products, which would give them job skills and something to do with the environment," Kline said.

Read More

    Gay Soldier Makes Tiaras from Human Teeth

    Al-Qaeda Offers to Free Hostage in Exchange for 1,000 Puppies