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Thousands of Retards March Against Use of the Word "Retard"

Thousands of retards converged on the Washington Mall in Washington DC today to protest the term "retard".

Calling the term derogatory for its accurate correlation of the condition it describes with stupidity, the retarded crowd called for the eradication of the word from use in everyday speech.

"In no way, shape or form is the r-word ever acceptable to say. The r-word is hate speech. It is more hateful than racism, more hateful than sexism, more hateful than anything," one retard proclaimed.

Organizers of today's rally have endorsed the term "intellectually disabled" as a replacement for the word "retarded", all but assuring the gradual stigmatization of the term "intellectually disabled" and the inevitability of a future rally to expurgate its use within the next ten years.

"How does using a term that means someone's brain doesn't work an improvement over one that means somebody's brain is impaired? It doesn't change the fact that these people aren't exactly university material," remarked pro-retard counter-protestor Evan Wilcox.

Continued Wilcox: "If you want to undermine the negative connotations associated with the word 'retard' and make retards feel better about themselves, try promoting the positive aspects of being retarded. Like how they retain a childlike wonder for things into adulthood and never have to perform jury duty."

DC Police estimated that 5,000 retards attended the march, the most retarded people to gather in the nation's capital since 80,000 attended Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally last Summer.

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