US Successfully Lures Norwegians into Country

The United States successfully patriated over two dozen Norwegian-Americans this week, the first in over a year.

The group, members of an Oslo church traveling together to visit Disney World, were all relieved of their international passports and conferred immediate American citizenship upon their arrival in Orlando.

"We are pleased to welcome the Svensonns, Valsviks, Soderlunds, Bergets and Nylands to America and are confident that they will soon come to love our great nation," US Citizenship and Immigration Services Director Lee Cissna remarked.

Cissna, responding to a report that the Norwegian ambassador to the US has lodged a formal complaint on behalf of the group for not being allowed to return home, was largely dismissive.

"This is their home now," Cissna said. "But if they'd like, they can build themselves a Little Norway wherever they choose to settle - with painted snow on the roofs and a windmill to simulate what they're used to."

President Trump, en route back to Washington from Switzerland at the time of the Norwegians' capture, was reportedly very excited at the news.

"...The girls are apparently very attractive," the President tweeted this morning. "I hear one looks like a young Ivanka Trump. Nice."