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NSA: Most Americans Don't Know What's for Dinner

A report issued today by the National Security Agency reveals that most Americans don't know what's for dinner.

Culled from a wide cross-section of electronic correspondence exchanged between individuals and their significant others, the report indicates that 50-55% of adult Americans don't know what their next meal will be on any given day.

"Every day millions of Americans email their spouse or significant other inquiring what's for dinner," NSA spokeswoman Marcia Jackson said, "And amongst the responses to those emails, over 80% reply that they, likewise, do not know what will be for dinner."

"All day, every day, and especially weekdays," Jackson added, rolling her eyes, "'What's for dinner?' 'I don't know, what do you want for dinner?' I don't know, what do you want for dinner?' 'I don't know, what do you want for dinner?' Jesus Christ, people."

As a public service, the NSA has begun posting daily recipe suggestions on their website.

Remarked Jackson: "Today we posted a lovely lemon-asparagus rissoto that's easy to throw together and looks really tasty, actually. Yesterday we had cheesy chili enchiladas. There's lots of good stuff up already, and if you still don't see anything you like, you can always just shut up and make yourself some fish and sticks."

 
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