Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

Trump Administration to Offer $5,000 Rebate on the '83 Chrysler LeBaron

The Trump Administration announced today that it will offer a $5,000 rebate to anyone who purchases a 1983 Chrysler LeBaron through the year 2020.

Coinciding with the news that Fiat Chrysler will reopen a long-shuddered factory in Forest Hills, Michigan that manufactured the LeBaron until the discontinuation of the K-body type in 1988, the new incentive program is designed to make the luxury car more affordable for working class Americans while creating new jobs.

"I said I would bring America's jobs back, and that's what I'm doing," President Trump boasted this morning on Fox and Friends. "Some of these people haven't worked in over 30 years, and that's just sad."

Featuring a 2.2 liter engine, 3-speed automatic transmission and anti-lock brakes, the LeBaron can reach 60 MPH in just over 10 seconds and gets nearly 20 miles to the gallon of diesel fuel.

"Our studies show that the LeBaron represents the pinnacle of American automotive technology when America was great," remarked Deputy Secretary of Commerce Terrence Tuttle. "Also, sporting bench seats and an AM/FM radio cassette player, the '83 LeBaron is the ideal car for both commuting and family road trips."

Meanwhile, invoking feelings of nostalgia, the LeBaron's lack of airbags in combination with the immenent repeal of federal safety belt and child seat laws is set to re-usher in the era in which Mom told us all to, "Just sit back."

Read More

    Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

    Black Man Selected First in NBA Draft