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Junkie City Councilors Continue to Obstruct Crackhead Mayor's Political Agenda

Junkie city councilors blocked yet another item on Crackhead Mayor Rob Ford's political agenda today, boycotting a vote on a bill that would legalize the sale of automobiles without a title.

Junkie ward councilor David Shephard, who initially blamed his absence from City Hall this morning on a faulty alarm clock, expressed his disapproval of the legislation.

"Yeah, it's pretty lame," he said.

Coming on the heels of Junkie council members' rejection of the Mayor's appointment of Dooky "D-Rock" Styles as Police Commissioner, Crackhead councilors blame Shephard of leading a campaign of obstructionism that has mired the city's government in gridlock.

"Junkies are driving our government into the ditch. They're collaborating with Al qaeda to put HIV in our vegetable supply and never have to take bowel movements because they were created by the devil," Ford said in a press conference this afternoon.

After concluding his remarks, Ford asked reporters if anyone was interested in purchasing a bucket of used batteries for ten dollars.

Responding to Ford's accusations, Shephard called the Mayor "Really loud," and promptly fell asleep.

 
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