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New Birth Control Pill Turns Women into Christian Fundamentalists Everybody Wins National Spelling Bee
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Romney Courts Women's Vote by Turning into Lady
NASDAQ
US Soldier Kills 7 in Elaborate Bid to Fake PTSD
S&P
Al-Qaeda Offers to Free Hostage in Exchange for 1,000 Puppies

Study: 2012 Election to be Determined by Some Asshole in Ohio
Doctor Foils God's Flesh Eating Bacteria Plot Against Girl
Home Owners Association Bans Stroke Victim
FBI: White Supremacist Group Keeping Busy Playing "Race War"
Sun Takes Massive Shit
Women Seeking Abortion Forced to Spend Night in Haunted House

A new form of contraception that turns its user into a Christian fundamentalist will soon be available to American women after receiving final approval from the FDA yesterday. Unlike other forms of birth control that utilize the hormones progestin and estrogen to prevent the fertilization of an egg by a sperm cell, Nomorcinin is composed of a proprietary formula of neurotransmitters... (More)


Police: Serial Rapist "Obviously Not Too Picky"

Opinion

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Recent News
Yes, I Could Stop the Execution of this Likely Innocent Man, but Meh - By: Clark County Superior Court Justice Stephen McNally - Yeah, yeah, I am aware of the newly discovered facts that cast a heavy shadow of a doubt on whether or not what's-his-name who's going to be... (More)

Conservatives Unite to Stop Practice of Healthcare

Teen Corner - With: Former Soviet Red Army General Uri Pavlovich - Regarded as the most astute of any former Soviet Red Army General on issues concerning contemporary American teenagers, Uri Pavlovich's constructive insights are an invaluable resource. To solicit General Pavlovich's peerless advice... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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